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I don't know what to say anymore because all my excitement was drained last night

anyway, what I'm happy about the most is that SFM runs so smooth I wanted to cry

Although a bit frustrating since it keeps restarting, I've been googling about the problems, what's causing the problem and solutions, my dad tried fixing it by tinkering with bios and updated a driver that was 32 bit and was supposed to be 64, tried out the suggestions my friends said (tune up utilities and wise care 365) still no luck, there was one solution i havent tried and that is the part where I let my PC go BSOD and look for the error code thing, but sadly, even if I disable the automatic restart when system failure, it still restarts instead of going blue screen.

help :c

also:

here're my pc specs 

 

edit: after further observations, I've concluded that its because of overheating
dont worry he's not dead 


its like an unexpected bitter taste that haunts you after eating something really sweet

you can either do your best to mask the after taste or let it sit until it goes away

and sometimes even though you know that thing will leave that bad after taste

you still want to eat more
pathetic

I'm gonna talk about that "stupid problem" I've been having over and over since I was a kid. It's having a crush on someone or even falling in love with someone that usually end up as one-sided love. I find it stupid or pathetic because its not the kind of problem like financial or depression or studying because I don't find having to find a partner a necessity, I mean, I can pretty much handle myself on my own, and what's even more stupid, this love life problem of mine is what's affecting me the most. Yeah I get inspired by the guy who I'm into but when it comes to the point that I start to worry about their feelings towards me, my mind goes downhill and I keep telling myself I won't let that shit affect me but it still does and over and over again, even though I've already learned that every guy I meet that will come to the point to more than liking them as a friend, I'll just end up disappointed. 

I tend to observe patterns like...well, to these guys irl that I had feelings for never liked me back, maybe a bit but not to the point of being like close to me physically and emotionally, or they'd usually stay away maybe because of the way I act, but these times were from Elementary and High School. Now that I've stepped into college, I fell for guys that I met on the internet although I admit that the first guy didn't like me back, but the next ones, they've shown interest and so did I and we were happy but just temporary. They may have left me alone in the cold but the memories I had with them makes me feel warm. So basically, guys irl don't like me because of the way I act, while guys from the internet didn't stay too long because of the fact that we live on the opposite sides of the planet, and also because of my attitude conversation wise.

Over and over again I tried to impress these, I tell ya, some went well and some didn't go as I hoped for. Then I made this facebook status "You may mean a lot to the world but not to the one that means the world to you." So I thought and have decided that I don't need such person in my life, I have more friends, family and fans that likes me and even love me more than this one guy could ever do. 

To be honest, as soon as I start to like a guy, there's already a thought creeping from the back of my mind saying "You'll just end up being disappointed." It's like the trampoline waiting at the bottom of the cliff once if I ever fall so I could bounce back up again.

So now I just want to say that I can do this, I'll do my best not to fall for this stupid problem again because it really affects me badly and I don't want that, and if another guys comes by in my life, I'll have my trampoline ready.

But that doesn't mean I'm hopeless, I'll wait even if the right guy for me doesn't really exist.
I have so many non-comic projects that I can't seem to get motivated to work on comic projects
from my tumblr 

 

 havent done any run cycles for a while 

 Back Gray by Py-Bun
my scout and miss pauling gif gettin' so much attention like did someone else post it somewhere or what

where are you people coming from

I want to know
heck yeah
when you make a thing for friend but friend dont like the thing

sour graping...

sour grapes the shit out of every bad thing
so the tumblr staff made this announcement staff.tumblr.com/post/82113034…

and so I did what it said feeling half doubt and half belief

but then after I reblogged it, someone said that you shouldn't change it because it will have a potential for these exploiters to know the new and old passwords and now I feel stupid

shit man I don't know what to believe anymore

I think this is the 3rd week since our vacation started and I could only work on small artworks and not big personal projects like another full length animation, or BL2 TF2 reskin pack, or workshop items, or comics or anything else because I'm still waiting for something >_<


 
 based on these panels----->image image




image
just so you know there is a new TF2 comic  

and it got really fun in tumblr and contributed to some shenanigans (SPOILERS UNDERNEATH)

image
  <----did an sfm of that panel
 image
 
image <-----new tumblr icon
  
go see this tumblr post first  it is related to my previous journal

I don't think I'll respond to that message, and to be honest my first thought when I got it was "But I'm not even that good enough" which lead me to more doubting than believing the message I got sooooooo...

Life goes on

More practicing and improving to do :V
Y'all know I was feeling down last night, specifically my posts last night

BUT NOW

AS I WAS JUST CHECKING MY MAILS

ONE OF THE PIPS WORKING AT CHANNEL FREDERATOR SENT ME A MESSAGE ON MY YOUTUBE INVITING ME TO WORK WITH THEM

image

I STILL CANT BELIEVE THIS IS REAL
I hate it whenever I'm sad or burdened with a problem, it is a time that I'm alone and in no way nor can't find no one to talk to
To work on more than one commission at a time?

The reason I do this is because I have this creation process where I show the client/commissioner a draft/sketch of the piece for approval before I finish it, and while I wait for their response, I work on other commissions :|